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Megami_no_Kaze
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Name: Jamie
Interests: Interests? ...Everything!...Except math. Math sucks. :-p Actually, right now, I'm very into Japanese. Japanese is a great language, and I encourage everyone to give it a try! I also enjoy reading. I try to write poetry on occassion, but it's nowhere near deserving of even a publication by some unknown publisher in some tiny part of the world. Heh. I also enjoy bowling. It's great fun, and gives me an outlet for all of my contained anger. Grrr. *shakes first* :-D Yeah.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/13/2005
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| Well, I attended a Samhain ritual last night. However, for those of you who are unaware, Samhain is actually on Nov 4th this year. The group that I attended the ritual with used the 'commercial' holiday however, just to keep it a little more simple. Attending this ritual was very interesting. I've always held an interest in the 'pagan' religions, but have never actually done anything to further this interest. I mean, sure, I've done a little reading, and a few of my friends also are involved the more 'eclectic' (if you want) pagan-istic religions, so I'm sure I've got a bit more knowledge than most, but I've never actually involved myself in it. Probably because I'm unsure of myself, I'm worried about what other people will think (yes, I am that shallow), and I don't know if it's actually something that I want to do. Of course, the only way to actually find out if it's a path for me is to get more involved, right? So I'm slowly (but surely) pushing myself into becoming more involved, and to finding out if there IS something there that calls to me in a way that the more well-known world religions don't.
So, though I was unsure of myself, I was also eager to attend and be a part of this ritual. And I'll reiterate what I said earlier - that it was very interesting. There was even a moment last night when I realized that I had dreamed about this particular ritual. I don't claim to be able to see the future or anything, but I do dream of the future on occasion. I kind of look at it as reassurance that I am doing what I should be doing. Fate is real, and there is a path for everyone, but we still have the choice to do what we want. *shrugs* I just also believe that what Fate has in store for me is correct for me, and remembering these dreams is a useful tool for me. I just wish I could remember them earlier, and with more clarity. I guess it'll come with practice? Or time? Or maybe never, who knows? Anyway, yeah. I think it was good for me, and very interesting for me, and something that I will continue to push myself in exploring, because I really do need to.
Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween, and is looking forward to Thanksgiving! (I know I am. My youngest brother turns 21 two days after Thanksgiving...and it will be fun. :D)
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| And much much sooner than you'd think, right? Not that it matters, really. Just saying.
Today, I realized that I'm having something of good week. My grades on tests and papers are above average, which is always nice. My classes have been going smoothly (save for Stupid Monday. I was stupid on Monday, and we'll leave it at that.) And I shot a 621 series in bowling tonight, which is better than I've been shooting lately, so that was nice. However, tomorrow (well, today) being Thursday, this could all go kaput. I have a test in one class, (yeah, it's only multiple choice, and it's also only 20 questions, but anything that is 'test' screams out in pain. Yes, pain.) and in another class I have a one-on-one meeting with my professor to discuss my final paper for the class, the abstract I wrote (I've never written an abstract before), and my sources. Which isn't too bad, I suppose. I'm just worried, because I realize that I could have done much better than what I did on those things. So, up to now, it has been a good week. Starting tomorrow, well. It could go into the crapper. We'll see. I hope it's a lot of nice-smelling crap. At least that way, even if I look ugly, I'll still smell nice. ^.^
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| So. I've recently embraced my flirty side? Or maybe not so recently, I'm just putting it to much more obvious (to myself, anyway) use now. And while yes, I am still single, I was recently asked by a guy if I'd like to date him. And I said maybe. I don't 'think' I said maybe because I like being single, though I will admit that, on a very subconscious level, I may actually enjoy being single. Or it may be that I don't want a relationship tying me down to place when there are sooo many things that I want to do that involve going out and seeing the world. I'm not willing to try out a long-distance relationship (where I end up doing what I want with someone waiting somewhere for me to return), because that would infringe on my full enjoyment of what I'm doing and seeing. I want to be free when I leave and see the world, and to me (at least right now) a relationship won't allow me to be free.
Hogwash, I know. If a relationship is good, then it won't matter where I am or what I'm doing, I should feel as free as a bird because I'm in looooooove. Eh, I don't think I buy it. Really. I don't. Anyway, back to the purpose of this particular post. (It's been how long since I've written? Yeah, I know.)
So, guy asked if I wanted to date him. I said maybe. Why? I'm not sure. I do HATE being alone and having no one to snuggle with, but at the same time, I don't know if I really want to give that up. The ability to be indiscriminate in who I snuggle with and when. But then I have to consider. This guy is Indian. And is quite a bit 'different' from who I usually hang out with. Is there some ingrained discrimination toward this guy because he's Indian and I don't realize it? I'm really afraid that this is why I said maybe. I like to THINK that I am open to the idea of dating anyone and everyone. (Yes, I entertain ideas of not being monogamous on occasion.) But what if, on some level, I picked up this...prejudice? Of course, then I owe it to myself to change my 'maybe' to 'yes' down the road so I can make sure my maybe wasn't because of another stupid, foolish reason. For now, however, I'll stick with my maybe. Who knows? Maybe I'm just being silly about worrying if I picked up a stupid prejudice some how. I'll figure it out.
In the meantime, 'maybe' means I'm still allowed to look.  | | |
| ...I have nothing to say. Still single, still have a job, still bowling. Still planning things. Such as the AT, for one. I'm going to make it happen. I need to call Dr. Oates, and get an appointment. It's horrible that I've been so lazy about it. Really. This appointment is going to suck ass. Oh well. It needs to be done. Need to get a hair appointment too. Sorry Tim, it wasn't before spring break. I'm sorry. ;.;
Eh, fuck life. I'm tired of it all right now. *sighs* | | |
| So. I've been knitting a green blanket for over 2 years now. I'll finish it eventurally. I'm majoring in East Asian Studies and History (the Japanese major dropped down to a minor). I'm also going to minor in Classical Studies. My classes this semester are all totally awesometastic. Except for one...and I hate that class sooo horribly much, it's not even funny. *sighs* I'll be attending college for an extra year beyond the usual 4. Or maybe only a semester, I'm not quite sure about that yet.
In the Spring/Summer of '09, I fully intend to thru-hike the entire Appalachian Trail. It takes the average person 5 months to complete it. I'll be completing this venture with Charlotte and Ramon. So I'll either be graduated from college by then, or taking a semester off of college.
I've got a job working in computer security for the OnePurdue project. (Yes, I did achieve status as a working member of society, finally.) And I don't have too much more to say. I think I'll get back to knitting my green blanket now. I really will finish it sometime. | | |
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